Can abused children stop feeling scared?

  • 19 March 2022

“Within a few weeks, Tom started to act out. He would mess up his room; try to hurt his older brother and us. He didn’t seem like a child really, he was a force of sadness and distress.

“Our Coram social worker gave us advice and reassured us.

“We’d give the children little rewards to encourage them when they behaved really well. I’d wrap up things like stickers and crayons and they would choose something from the lucky dip as their treat.


“It was amazing how fast the children picked up things like our expressions and words we say. We’d have a family in-joke because people would often say ‘they look just like you!’

“Over time they learned they didn’t have to be scared. Danny would get us to do something they called ‘the family hold hand’ where we’d all hold hands and walk in a line together. He would put my hand in my partner’s hand, which is a lovely memory.

“I’m so glad we adopted our boys, they’d had extremely difficult times but we love them for who they are. It’s hard work but we feel so privileged to have them. We’re the luckiest mums in the world.”

Case studies are real but names are changed and models used to protect confidentiality

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